in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
