i barfeds in our rink
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
