Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
