; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
