Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
