just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
