I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
