i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
