I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
