Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
