Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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