If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
