They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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