I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You are a booty call, not a friend.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
