did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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