so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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