i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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