I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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