no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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