Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
