Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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