sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Randomize
