"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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