What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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