Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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