you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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