i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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