i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
