Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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