She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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