this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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