Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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