So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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