we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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