More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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