Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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