this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
