we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
