yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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