your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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