There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
