Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
