Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
