So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
