Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
The uberlube is also flammable
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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