i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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