wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
