farters have to be the big spoon...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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