I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
and she was petting her beer can
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
