I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
