nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
