You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
