You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
