i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
