matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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