I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
