but the lizard people decide everything anyway
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
