yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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